things that matter

it’s been a while, as always. I thought I’d give a go at getting back into regular blogginess by having a weekly thing with some structure. as someone who’s paid to produce words for 40-60 hours each week, making more words hardly gets me out of the doldrums, but is a thing I do tend to enjoy when I can do it for me and in my own way and in my own space and time – proper grammar be damned! we’ll see how this goes. structure is good (if a little foreign to me). not gonna lie – I’m also using this as an excuse to procrastinate on a translation project that is due Monday morning…and on doing dishes. blarg.

here are some good things that have happened recently

for Christmas, the lovely man with whom I live and share all of the craziest parts of my life bought me The Wild Unknown tarot deck and book – a set I’d been swooning over forever. I hadn’t had a deck call to me so hard since the Haindl deck that I loved and lost. I’d been working with a Rider-Waite deck (a deck that works, but doesn’t speak to me) for a couple of years until getting this one. the connection with The Wild Unknown is palpable, if not yet fully understood. I’ve been drawing a card each day (ok, not actually each and every day because I’m not disciplined like that, but I aim to be!) in order to get to know it better. I keep drawing this card:

Ace of Wands

which is rather awesomely about new growth and creativity and rather annoyingly about a lot of things I need to kick myself in the arse for and that just skims the surface of my relationship with the tarot, but explaining the rest of the relationship is probably worth a millionty-three tales for a millionty-three other times. I’ll talk more about the book behind the card later.

as the result of searching out what others are taking away from this amazing deck, I came across We Will Tell You All Of Our Secrets, the blog of a maker and knitter (anyone who knows me knows in how much reverence and crushiness I hold you people who make garments out of bits of string – GARMENTS OUT OF BITS OF STRING!!! you’re all amazing) and adventurer extraordinaire.  I read the whole thing. seriously.

Stephen Fry got hitched and that is so, so cool. I cannot tell you in how many ways the dude is an idol of mine, but I can begin by saying that him getting hitched warms the cockles of my heart. he’s someone who has suffered some pretty intense mental health issues and has been open about it and one of the most humble advocates for good care in the face of that. he has found love in the face of that…in an age gap relationship (those millennial men! I don’t mean to fetishize or generalize a generation, but I cannot blame him one bit!) that, of course, has come under fire in the media – another thing he has faced with all of the grace anyone could hope to have. I want to be him when I grow up.

and all of that reminds me that this image came across my social media feeds:


A post shared by Steve Grand (@stevegrandmusic) on

it makes me stupendously happy. down with binaries! up with intersectionality and the amazing, complicated world of humanity, dammit!

here are some gross/enraging things that have happened recently

this also came up in my feeds:

it really hits close to home as the niece of a quadriplegic. I haven’t had to deal with this stuff personally in a number of years, but I did for over 20 years and…well…I don’t even know where to begin with this. accessibility is difficult enough for so many. that the very people meant to ensure their rights to mobility are respected, in this world that denies them at every turn, would abuse their privilege in order to negate that? I cried when I saw this. we can do better.

a couple of things I learned

today, I learned how to make a frittata that I actually liked. I have a weird relationship with eggs – I love quiche and hate scrambled. I came to rekindle a liking for omelettes a few years ago after making them for everyone else and wanting nothing more to do with them. I can’t deal with eggs at all when I’m menstrual. I’m now in a position of catering to the daughter’s gluten-free lifestyle and so have been looking for ways to make breakfasts (and other meals) that accommodate that. I followed Alton Brown’s method, if not the recipe itself, and amped up the other-ingredient-to-eggs ratio, by, like, 1,000,000:1. it contains bacon, spinach, parsley, peppers, onions, cheese, chili flakes, and nutmeg and it looked like this:



it’s delicious and will happily feed a meal to six giant humans (because that’s all we have in this house). also, cast iron skillets are the shit. I will do this again. oh yes, I will.

I also learned that putting away half of eleventy-6 settings of plates leads to fewer dishes to wash. lover-man and I came into co-habitation with a lot of plates and very little will to deal with them. putting half of them away has made a metric pantload of difference in facing housework. I’m sure this is a no-brainer to many, but…well…for a couple of home-centric people, we’re not very housekeeping-centric. we talked about it for months before it happened. it did happen, so yay us!

what I’m chewing on

I just finished reading The Secret History of Wonder Woman. it’s as enraging as it is fascinating as it demonstrates just how few strides we’ve made toward equality in ONE HUNDRED YEARS. women are still paid less, still fighting for reproductive freedom, still trapped by the notion of maternal instinct, still not having our legitimate, tangible skills outside of “nurturing nature” taken seriously. I do despair. I do recommend the book, though. it’s really, really good for an anger-inducing read (and I’m a firm believer in righteous anger).

this was fun. and cathartic. writing according to my rules is good. I’ll try again next week.