things that matter – all over the place editionPosted: March 13, 2015
ok. I suck at scheduled writing, but I already called that foul.
we seem to finally be out of the grips of winter. don’t get me wrong, in my wee Canadian heart of hearts, I know there will be more winter, but this reprieve from the claustrophobia-inducing, unbearably cold temperatures is very welcome and I’ll take what I can get. like, this winter was seriously cold stuff that had my anxiety cranked up to 11 as there was no escaping it and, as someone who tends to make their way around life on foot, incredibly limiting and so also depressing. “shack wacky” doesn’t even begin to address how I was feeling about it all and then there was a $200+ heating bill, then a $300+ heating bill and then, to make that shit worse, going into the last days of The Coldest February in 115 Years, the pipes in our 160 year old home. I’ve been here for 11 years and never had that happen. after 6 days of 4-way negotiations between us, the city, plumbers and our landlady (who is really on the ball when it comes to stuff like this, thankfully) we finally got water into our home by way of hooking up a hose to a neighbour’s water supply. it’s not elegant, but it works.
the whole thing shed light on the value of having neighbour-friends. we had no less than three neighbours open their doors to us to grab water and showers and such. our most immediate neighbour even gave us a key to their place to make use of as and when needed. “you guys are basically family” he said when I protested and thanked and thanked and protested. I’m surrounded by some seriously sweet people.
to make it all even worser worse, it all came down just as I’d overextended myself in terms of work. I had two translation projects (one of them HUGE and both with aggressive deadlines) on the go and we’re about to release a new version of our product at the day job and I could feel the seconds on the clock ticking away for every moment I spent NOT working and dealing with water issues instead. further to that, I was grumpy and anxious on edge and wanting to get things sorted and nervous about having our landlady into our messy home made even messier by several days of no water and tracking water and dirt into the house. and my lover was grumpy and anxious and on edge and feeling a little helpless as I’m currently the one with all of the negotiating power as I’m the one with the name on all of the things. so yeah. it sucked, but luckily (again) my man is the kind of guy who is really responsive when I call timeout for straight talk so we can vent a little and realign our priorities and remind each other that we have very different approaches to these kinds of situations even if our goals are the same and walk away from it with a list of things to set in motion so we can tag team it better next time. le sigh. that is such a nice thing.
so, we have water. I am now out from under most of the grueling slash-job buses that left me without a day off since mid-February and I get this whole weekend off (youpi!) and life goes on.
among the mess and confusion, it occurred to us that we’d been living together for a full year and hadn’t killed each other yet. I’ve been reflecting on that quite a lot lately and how it’s all such a trip and how all of the visions I had of co-habitation got blown away pretty early on due to me getting played for some icky financial stuff, issues with sprogs (ach! my motherhood!) and some other odds and sods that all culminated in some pretty big identity crisis type shit that I’ve had to devote a lot of time toward in really boring, practical ways (and that I’m only just recovering from now) along with the typical trials and tribulations of learning to live with each other and be in a romantic relationship. but holy Mary mother of pearl. a year! even if all that we’ve grown dissolved tomorrow, I could look back on all of the learning and growing I’ve done with nothing less than the feeling that my pitcher is full.